First Ice
by syakila
Summary: Well its not a fanfic...a story i wrote myself. Jennifer had it all, a great bestfriend, and every guy on her heel. A nasty rumour spread, bad decisions made and a broken friendship. Would mysterious brown eyed Will save her?


Hey guys, this is the first story i ever posted. Its not a fanfic, all totally made by my original mind. Hope you like it. Please comment. I know it suck..i mean i liked the start but near the middle i was so exhausted. It was like a last minute done english assignment. Please, please comment and tell me if you like it. It'd be nice if you gys can give ideas for this or other stories, yeah anything, romance, scifi, :)

**First Ice**

He was the predator; who gnawed the strong rope that linked an eternal infinite friendship. Just like the unforgivingly freezing merciless cold: it solidifies my sweat, my tears and my heart. The cruel raptor with beady sinister eyes to frighten every living and non-living things alike, sharp claws that gripped hearts to tear them away, and an invisible swishing tail that coils and loops around its prey, slowly strangling it till the last breadth. It had a manipulative mind and worst of all a deceiving appearance, never alerting its prey of its ill will.

1. Anonymous

I want her. I will get her. She will be mine; she already is, even though she just isn't aware of it.

2. Sam

I always would remember that time when I was a five year old in kindergarten…

…A poor girl was huddled in a corner, trying to fold herself in so tight as if wishing she was invisible; her braids were all undone, clothes rumpled and stained with dirt, she had cuts and scratches and bruises on the delicate skin of her arms and legs, her face streaked with dirt slowly washed away by her spilling, streaming tears, that flowed endlessly with fear and shame. Fear that she had from the brutal blows of Eric Thompson and shame of the fear. She feared fear itself and was ashamed of this.

…Jennifer Gold, she was walking past, and at the instant sight of this poor girl, Jennifer rushed to the aid of the girl, and in the time of less than a minute the poor girl had poured every bit of her fear, and her shame like she never before; because finally someone had cared, finally someone was concern enough to asked, and finally someone had listen to the poor girls troubles; the poor girl whose trouble, like the pesky homework children complained about, had piled up, it had multiplied, and she had literally drowned in her troubles; unlike the hyperbolic statement of drowning in homework, the poor girl had really been drowning in her problems. The poor girl, who saw violence daily; from the domestic cruelty of her father towards her mother at home, her older sister's death because of the violence of her boyfriend and she herself experienced the physical and emotional violence of bullying in school; violence was inevitable and inescapable in her family.

After that, Jennifer just stood up. She just stood up! She then straightened herself and composed herself from the few leaked tears she had. The poor girl was astonished. After all that, after her long confession, Jennifer Gold, just stood up, yeah she sure is popular and that poor girl just a school social pariah, but she just stood up. That poor girl learned that she was so mistaken. Jennifer than marched, and the look on her face showed all the passion and determination, that poor girl never saw in a five year old, in fact it was not seen ever! The poor girl entranced with this, followed the march, unaware of where it was leading her to. The march led her all the way to the classroom, and all the way to Eric Thompson. Fear and shame did not engulf that poor girl then, in fact it hadn't even registered, at all! Jennifer, like an unstoppable, irreconcilable, raging storm unleashed her power; deadly blows that only the deaf can protect from. She unleashed and wielded the magic of words so powerfully, it made Harry Potter seem like an amateur, a pathetic amateur. It was hilarious to think of that time again; Jennifer with her delicate tiny frame, Jennifer, who though tall for a girl still stood half the height and weighed half the size of the tall huge bully, who went by the name of Eric Thompson. Looking at Jennifer, she was destined for greatness. How could a five year old girl stand up to a huge, ginormous boy of the same age, a boy who could be mistaken to be 3 years older, and furthermore make that big boy look grief-stricken and seem guilty. It really made the day of all five year old girls in Thompson Kindergarten; the day that Jennifer, the school's Joan of Arc had single handedly defeated the evil that threatened the playground of five year olds. Did I forget to mention that Eric Thompson was the son of Headmaster Thompson, a descendant of the founder of Thompson Kindergarten? Jennifer and that poor girl exchanged their secret smiles

That poor girl was me, Samantha Gield, and from that time on we became best friends. From that time on, Jennifer had also unconsciously taken the role as my guardian angel, becoming whatever I needed best; a comforter when I feel down, a functioning mother when I needed one for advice, a well-intended meanie when I needed the harsh criticism; she was the root unto which I entrusted to keep me rooted onto sanity.

2. Jennifer

Today (14th October 2010), it's been exactly 9 years 11 months since we've been best friends. Next month would be the special one decade. This year, for our decade of friendship, I am going to write one special moment of each year of our friendship, any moment that struck as one of the most memorable/favourite/respected moment in our friendship of that year. Of course, as organized as I am, I had started preparing my list ages ago and it went something like this:

Year 1 (age 5-6):- The day of Sam's confession a.k.a. the day of the start of our friendship

Year 2 (age 6-7):- After Sam's confession, I confessed a bit more about my familial problems, thinking it would equalize us somehow, but Sam thought the same and decided to say more, and I realized she had it worse. That was the great thing about Sam, she always stay so strong and instead of whining on in life, she faced the challenges straight on and even though I knew she secretly thought I was her King Arthur, the protector or savior, the white knight, I myself admired her formidability and her strength that was different than of mine. My power, as Sam puts it is the "magic of words", whiles hers, even though she vehemently denies it is "mental stability and strength".

Year 3 (age 7-8):- As a Christmas present from nana (my nickname for my grandma), I got a puppy. I had waited for Sam, so we could name the puppy and Sam's inclusion to the contribution of naming of the dog had also given her part responsibility and ownership to the dog. It was our dog and we had called it Deefor, as in D for Dog.

Year 4 (age 8-9):- Arithmetic; I pointed had always pointed out to the teachers it was Arithmetic and not Mathematics, as it is wrong in context to call what we do Mathematics, because it is clearly stated in the dictionary Arithmetic is dealing with addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division and the use of numbers in calculations but Mathematics is the study of the relationships among numbers, shapes, and quantities, and it uses signs, symbols, and proofs and includes arithmetic, algebra, calculus, geometry, and trigonometry; in simple "dummies guide to Math" explanation, Arithmetic is all about numbers and Mathematics about theories; "Arithmetic is to mathematics as spelling is to writing.". Well Sam was getting a consistent D in this subject, so I decided I would tutor her. When she got that A, an A, a huge leap from D to A, for ARTIHMETICS, I couldn't describe the glee in Sam and my over the brim pride with helping my best friend Sam; it was priceless.

Year 5 (age 9-10):- Times for tables to turn. This time I was getting the consistent C- in Art, and guess who tutored me?

Year 6 (age 10-11):- We went to this funfair and Sam had won a game and received a huge teddy bear as a price. Guess who got that teddy bear?

Year 7 (age 11-12):- Someone had accidentally slipped and poured all the contents of their meal on Sam's shirt. Luckily I had a spare and coincidentally we were the same size although I was taller.

Year 8 (age 12-13):- For P.E we had mandatory uniforms to wear for P.E., but unluckily my shorts had torn, and it was a shame because unlike Sam I had really enjoyed P.E. Sam had lent me her shorts, even though it was a bit too big, that I had to fold the waist band on itself. Later, during P.E., Sam had faced the wrath of Coach Sullivan for not bringing her kit, because being co-ordination-ly challenged, she had always found ways to skip the lesson, and Coach Sullivan was always harsh on her.

Year 9 (age 13-14):- Sam had dyed all her clothes black, symbolically representing her mourning of today's generation, who cared for nothing but the next episode of Gossip Girl. I admired Sam for this. She had always been so maturely higher than the rest and I guess her artistic soul had made her have clearer vision; she always did say that a great artist first learns to draw what they see and not what they know, meaning drawing what is real and not what they know to be real, for example take a grape, a painter would normally just draw perfect circle and lines and make the drawing perfectly symmetrical; perfect but not real; but a real artist would follow every line, curve shape and imperfections of the real grape that together join to make perfection; again as I point out the clearer insight to the world (another power Sam had acquired). I had tried wearing black and it had apparently become a fashion hit that every girl in school wore black, that I decided to revert back. It seemed to defeat the purpose of the symbolism if everyone had worn black without the intention that Sam had; such a pity.

Year 10 (age 14-15) :- (under construction…coming soon).

3.

Jennifer and Sam were walking to school together, as had been their routine for years. They were keeping light conversation, in which was between pauses was inserted a chuckle or two.

The two entered the building. As engrossed as they were in their conversation, they had not realized the silhouetted figure hiding behind the dark doors, looking on at them, observing every action, staring their direction. Yellow eyes like a voracious lion; hunger that cannot be satiated with food; it was a different hunger.

4. Jennifer

Something was totally off, but I just can't quite put my finger on it yet. I turned to look quizzically at Sam's green eyes, which I knew very well. Her eyes were not of the ordinary green, but they were really green, as in super green, like the colour of the fresh grass in spring time; unlike other girls who loved summer as it gave them a chance to show off their bodies and see bodies; spring was my favourite season of the year. I thought Sam's eyes, that reminded me of spring, was beautiful and at one time I envied those eyes, especially since it contrasted so well with her dark curly hair, which impossibly had so many different shades; unlike my dull straight-always-fall-into-eyes hair, Sam had really nice curls of dark hair. Sam as always underestimated her beauty and disregards the existence of it altogether. Still something was off, and Sam seemed to notice that too, though unlike the haze of confusion she clearly could see in my eyes, hers seemed, well, knowing. What didn't I get? Why couldn't I be able to draw what I "see"; why did I draw what I "know"?

5. Sam

Of course she wouldn't notice. How un- cliché of her type, yet again she really didn't have a type, did she? She hardly regards her status as Adam Preparatory School (APS) Queen Bee. How could she rule the whole place and not know it? It's just like having an IQ of 200 and think you're stupid!

She didn't notice how it was weird that everyone seemed to be staring at us, and I mean us, not her, which in itself was weird, because when the adolescent population, heck, even the teachers, look at us, they seem to skip me and go straight to her, the perfect image of those Vogue cover models, which guys "dig", girls want to be and on occasions the other way round, and the perfect embodiment of an exemplary student of APS, to the latter. It had been widely accepted to everyone that I was Jennifer's strange friend; actually honestly most seem to think of me as her charity event, well again let them think what they want; I really mourn for this generation who seem to segregate people based on status and popularity, while in History class teach or learn about the unjust ways of separation due to judgement of inequality and accepted believes of superiority.

What was even more bizarre, was that the adolescent population of the school, seem to stare not in the admiring way as they normally do, but in the weird "oh my god, look who's here, like oh my god, they're soooo weird, like oh my god!" Of course Jennifer didn't notice, I mean it's either her brain's not wired to read _"zero-tolerance-for-anyonewho-might-actually-have-adifferent-opinion-than-theirown (or, actually, any opinion at all), blithely school-song-chanting, reality-TV-show-watching neo fascists" _facial expressions and body language or she knows it but does not acknowledge it, but as a friend of almost ten years I'd have to render the expression and language barrier more likely.

Even more peculiar, was that they were whispering. Whispering while staring with the "OMG " look, in any adolescent infested area, is commonly accepted to equal to, gossiping. Gossiping! Of course Jennifer wouldn't notice because she does not like to include herself in an immoral act of a low self-esteemed girls; but what in the world could they be gossiping about, I mean, look at it from what Jennifer like to describe as my "insightful perception". Jennifer Gold. Doesn't the name say it all already? Voted Miss Adams Preparatory School (a.k.a. Miss Socially Higher or if you like the cliché; Miss Popular), Head Cheerleader, and Homecoming Queen, by the students. Do I have to go further? Not only is she Miss Popularity, she is a straight A, and so obviously the future student valedictorian. What else could she possibly do? Oh, nothing but spend 2 hours a day (3 hours on weekends) doing community service! She has never been a topic of gossip, well not the bad one that seems to emanate from the vibes of people.

What could it possibly be about? But all it took was one purposefully-said-to-be-loud-enough-to-hear word, to drain the colour from my face, to set the clarity of the situation that is to be dreaded. Gay. I had already guessed it all, but of course I wouldn't tell Jennifer yet, not yet. How tempting it was. Looking at Jennifer's confused, innocent, naïve blue eyes. Her blonde lashes were very long outlining her eyes really exquisitely. Her lustrous blonde hair, smoother than butter always falling to her eyes, forcing her to sweep it back all the time, until the realisation of the invention of tying the hair tightly high up, but still somewhere in the day it would fall again to her eyes. She was just so beautiful. I had to force my artistic eyes from the perfection of Jennifer Gold. Through all the weirdness, we were "saved by the bell". The bell rang in time for our classes. Jennifer and I had mostly separate classes; while I had went into the Art stream, she had opted for Mathematics (no more Arithmetic), Science, History, Geography…the classes characteristically for super intelligent kids. Not only was she in the boring difficult subjects, she was in the Advanced Placement classes, so typical, and so typically opposed to mine. As I headed to Math class (an unfortunately mandatory subject; I mean what happened to freedom of choice?) with normal people, she headed for AP Chemistry.

6. Jennifer

The weird feeling did not go away! It was so unusually quiet. Now to think of it, I hadn't received the same kind of greetings I usually do; in fact I wasn't greeted by my fellow peers at all. My "friend" Krista Parkinson a.k.a. Krista Parks (she hated the name Parkinson), didn't even take her usual seat beside me; instead when she entered the class, she gave a disgusted glance (was it a trick of the eye?) in my direction, before shimmying her way to sit next to Will Granger. At this Will, smiled more out of politeness than anything and switched to sit next to Bill. Will was a nice sweet guy; he would make a good friend. He was the modest star of the basketball team, and though Kris Park made her advances toward him very obvious, he would politely shrug her off; but unbeknownst to him, this had encouraged her further; men, boys, guys alike were all pawns in Krista's game; it was always a game to her. Well, that was probably the reason she ditched me today. She always raised her game when the guy rejects her. One main factor that made Krista target Will was that he was a year older. He had apparently started school late. The fact that he was a year older meant he had a car, and that he could legally drive. Krista seemed to like that very much. Krista said that good girls went for bad boys and vice versa; but how come Krista went for Will, a good guy?

Jack Adams, the quarterback of Adam Preparatory School's famous football team, unperturbed by the weird atmosphere, leisurely took the seat next to me. He was rather cocky but well I guess he was nice enough, and luckily he had gotten over forcing his "companionship" on me. We sat in silence, as I felt all 38 pairs of eyes locked onto the back of my head; this I was kind of used to, I mean any conversations between a guy and a girl usually sparked rumours of a possible close relationship. Rumours! What did I think about them? It's just an act of entertainment among the seemingly tedious daily life of going to school.

7. Sam

Finally after a long monotonous hour of Math and another hour of living purgatory a.k.a. History, the bell, that seemed to enjoy the suffering, rang, indicating it was time for lunch. Usually lunch was an awaited reward but I had a feeling this time, things would be different. Oh, I'm in for a lot!

8. Jennifer

Weird. The day seems to endlessly fill with oddity. As I left AP World Geography, Kris would usually ceremoniously walk with me to lunch, but today, as I waited for her at the door, she pointedly ignored me and strode on to peers in the celibacy club, in which she was the president. It was a cover up to gossip, and a club intended for all popular people thus Krista Parks, not to be mean or anything, just stating facts, the biggest slut of them all, was voted the president. That probably would have been me, but I had rejected the offer. Oh well! Weird, it was the first time I walked the hallways alone, but as I was about to finish this thought, it was interrupted with Jack Adam's hand on my arm, steering me to the cafeteria. Weird!

I looked through the crowd, and as I spotted Sam, I released Jack's strong hold on me, running to see her; she was the only dependable normalcy in my life. Well, until now, she just looked weird. The cafeteria suddenly hushed then, and all eyes turned towards us. Krista Parks was fast approaching with her clique. What's happening?

"Hey _Sam_," Krista got out purposefully slowly. She seemed to drawl out the Sam, as if revolted by the word. What was happening? Krista than flitted her glare toward me. It was…menacing. Again, for the umpteenth time; what was happening?

"Heeeyyyy Jen Jen. So what's the plan for today. Oh isn't it always like any other." What was her point? "You and Sam. What's in store today? Hmmpph, let me guess. You're gonna buy lunch with Sam, then go under that big willow tree to eat…" She paused implying something I didn't seem to get. Krista can sometimes be so point blank and sometimes so …ambiguous. Now seemed liked she was being obvious because everyone got what she meant; except me!

It was pin drop silence in the cafeteria.

"Oh well! Bye!" she said. "Oh one more thing, were you and Sam sleeping over last night?"

"Yeah it was a slumber party," I replied cautiously. What was her point?

"Well, than one last thing…lesbians!" Krista sneered.

I stared at her, uncomprehending at first. That had been it? That was the whole weirdness? A stupid rumour had made it seem like my friendship with Sam was more than what met the eye? Sam as usual, remained silent at this jab. Quite expected, I mean, she always expected me to be King Arthur!

"It isn't like that!" I said.

"Well save it for someone who cares! I mean…" she paused, looking around at her audience absorbing the attention, " look at it this way. I actually can't believe it…"

"Then why believe it?" I quickly countered.

"…as I was saying before being rudely interrupted. I mean look at it this way; you are so capable of getting any guy you want and yet no boyfriend, you don't like bitching about other girls and yeah face it, I said bitch. You also seem to be so nice; though it is clearly established a pyramid; popular at the top and unpopular at the bottom. You're so nice to unpopular girls. Oh and while Jack Adams was all over you, well how did you return this; you point blank rejected him!" she paused again; this girl just loved the attention, "oh and I guarantee your life and by your life I mean popularity back if you dump her, get a guy and move on," this statement was obviously said to display cheap publicity and authority; like as if she could easily make someone popular again if she wished! She's so above herself.

9. Anonymous

Sam was shocked. Sam was scared. Sam was quite. Sam just stood. Sam was lifeless. Sam was white. Sam was afraid. Sam shamed the fear. Sam felt guilty…

…good. It _is_ working.

10. Jennifer

Something was of. The few days after that cafeteria cat fight; Sam acted weird. Why does she have to always blame herself? I tried. Don't get me wrong, I tried talking to Sam, but lately she's just been shutting me out. If this goes on…oh I can't think about it…but if this goes on any longer, well, it might lead to a heated confrontation.

School was just weird. Teachers looked at me sympathetically, and to be honest I think they all have some soft spot for me. Well, even the headmaster had invited me to his office one day, and it was one of the best things that happened in days! He was so nice. He offered to squelch the rumours, giving a simple explanation that what was happening was wrong. At this I finally realised that he might actually really like me, strictly as student of course. I actually, finally realised that the teacher seem to share a mutual liking of me. Well, that was the highlight of the whole week. In fact the only person I could depend on to walk me to classes, to be at my side was, well, Jack Adams. I guess he took to heart of Krista "terms and conditions" and seemed relentlessly hinting of his was availablility. At one time I actually thought it was rather pesky and pathetic but later had to take it back as he genuinely seemed to not care and dispel the stupid rumours. He was being more of a friend than even Sam was; maybe, just maybe …

As proof to my downfall…well. Here's what happened. I was just walking, my mind just wandered off; trying to escape reality. I accidentally bumped into Will Granger. He was what I called the "nice guy type" but when we bumped and I tried to apologise; he picked his things so quickly and just ran off. I mean the "nice guy" ran off! He did blush, probably embarrassed of the encounter with me!

Sam still acted so weirdly. She wasn't there at all. I mean she was there physically but not mentally! I wouldn't let a stupid rumour ruin our friendship, so I pretended. I pretended nothing ever happened. I pretended that the whole student body wasn't staring. I conversed with Sam as I usually would but the only thing ruining the role play was Sam herself. She just kept quiet. She wouldn't look me in the eyes. When I asked her to look me in the eyes, she just feigned exhaustion and lamely made excuses such as "Oh my neck hurts, and I'm too tired to look up". I mean sure I'm taller but not that tall; we were just one head of a difference. I have a feeling she secretly thought I was naïve but seriously, does she think I'm stupid? I let it go. I let everything go the whole week!

Finally, I decided to stop by at Sam's house and talk. I needed my best friend back! After community service was over, I went to Sam's house. I knocked on the door and was greeted by her mum. Her mum seemed happier than before and seemed overjoyed to see me; she seemed…radiant? She told me Sam was out. We made light conversation and since her mom had apparently not heard of previous events, I had no intention of ratting it out.

"Oh, it's been a darling of a few days, Jenny (her nickname for me)!" I looked at her blankly. "Sammy (her nickname for Sam) didn't tell you?" Again I looked at her quizzically, and although my annoyance was growing at the fact that Sam didn't tell me something, I tried to hide it out of politeness.

"Well you see, I had finally filed divorced from Bobby. Isn't it great?" As I was about to nod, she went on, "oh and look my face, isn't it beautiful? No morenew bruises! Hallelujah! Thank God, you suggested the divorce, but really it took you not coming here for the past few days to really have the meaning sink in. I mean before I could always talk to you for comfort but when you weren't there, man I was going crazy, and I started to think of all you told me to comfort myself and the idea of divorce just grew. Again thank you!" Now, tears were gushing out; a formidable unchallengeable force; but I was glad; it was tears of joy! "Thank you for caring, for listening and for giving a damn" she choked in between gasps of breath.

Wow! Another great thing that happened; the knowledge that I helped someone! Why does it take to be socially exiled to be emotionally and spiritually nurtured?

"Anyways enough about me," as Mrs. Gield, no longer Mrs. Gield said wiping the tears away. "Why weren't you enlightening us with you presence this past few days?" she playfully said.

"Ummm…you see things just been busy, AP classes getting more difficult, you know."

"Well, good luck with everything and … I really wished you could be my daughter," she said before leaving to the kitchen to prepare some food.

I was left alone to think. Finally! Why hadn't Sam told me about this? It seemed important! I can't believe it; she can tell me how her dad abused her mom, how he got her 2nd oldest sister pregnant, how her oldest sister was killed by her violent boyfriend, how her youngest sister at the tender age of 12 had been raped, how she was nearly sexually assaulted by her father but luckily ran away to me, to my house; and it made me cry while she didn't even flinch; she was so strong. She had always told me that I was her guardian angel; that I protected her so many times, with that secret smile of hers, she would only reserve for me. Why did she tell me the bad that happened in her life but not tell me that the root cause for many bad happening and decisions in her family was gone?

Then it hit me; how could I be so judgemental? I heard that to many people, the father was a crucial figure in the family. Why didn't I think? Of course she was upset! She had just lost, no matter how crappy he was, a father. Oh my, I've been such a horrible friend! Why didn't I support her more, I mean I should have been more….

11.

Sam heard it all; the whole conversation between her mum and Jennifer.

She had actually come home early from detective work. She had found out who was guilty of starting the rumour. She was entering the house and in doing so she saw Jennifer's coat hanging on the coat hanger and decided to enter from the back. She had silently entered and listened as the conversation unfolded in front of her.

Observing Jennifer, Sam knew it! Of course! While Sam selfishly dealt with her personal problems and conflicts, and even though nothing was ever Jennifer's fault; Sam just knew it! Sam knew Jennifer was guilt-tripping herself! Why does Jennifer always have to be considerate and noble and nice and kind and pure and just so good? Sam had decided. Jennifer's given enough; she's done enough! Sam decided it was time for tables to turn. She let herself out of the house silently and strolled to the front door.

12. Jennifer

Finally, I heard a click. The front door was opening. I decided to stay put and not run off to the front door; it might scare away Sam and this was her last chance.

"We need to talk," I was surprised this came out of Sam; I thought I was going to be the one who had to say it. Sam then beckoned for me to follow her up to her bedroom.

"Okay." We bought went at the same time, "I'll go first," Sam quickly said.

"I want you out of my life," she said it so calmly and composed. How…how could this be such an easy statement to say? What…what did Sam mean? Oh my god; she's trying to be the martyr isn't she?

"Hey listen…" I started.

"Shut up! I know you're going to go on with some rubbish about me wanting to sacrifice…but listen here. I WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE!" Why does it seem that this whole week my thoughts went mostly "what is happening", "What does she mean"? What the hell is happening?

"Well you don't get to decide if you're my friend or not! I mean yeah you can decide not to be friends with me but you hell can't change the fact that you are _my _friend!" I went!

"Jennifer Gold! Hasn't it always been about you? Wow your life is so horrible; I mean look at you. Oh wow it hurt so much that your mum decided to hook up with an army dude and leave you with your dad! That so sucks for you!" Ouch that hurt but…

"Hey if this is about your mum and…" I stuttered.

"Don't you freaking get it! It's not about my mum or dad or my family. It's about you! Oh hell all ten years of my life it's been about you! You think you were ever really my friend" Now I really didn't get it.

13. Sam

That must have hurt her. It hurt me to say it, but good thing she was never a good reader of intentions; that was my forte. I needed to continue. I needed her to really hate me. My heart was breaking .My mind was jumbled. I mean it was proven our whole friendship that we were perfect pieces of jigsaw puzzle that fit together, but I guess as proven by the Roman Empire; everything great has to fall; now I am falling.

"You were, sorry, you _are_ so blind!" I shouted

"Well that was why I need you; to see!" Jennifer pleaded. My head throbs. I am not going to cry. I am not going to cry! I AM NOT GOING TO CRY! Why was it me? Why did it have to be me that reduced a great wielder of words? Why did I have to reduce her so badly? Because she needed it! Oh and along the way, I made her say hell; Jennifer who never swore said hell!

"Oh so I see our intentions were mutually selfish. You needed me to see, and you, well…" CRAP this hurts, "well I needed you to survive high school. You see I was never popular, but you, you were my perfect plan. Hung around you, miss popularity and I was protected. But Now! Now you're useless. Yeah two guys still head over heels for you; but well the rest, the rest exiled you!"

14. Jennifer

So that was it! It was my fault that a stupid rumour started and now not popular enough to protect Sam? That hypocrite. It wasn't worth it! She wasn't worth it! How could she after all that time just ... use me? How could I be so blind? How could I fall for it? Why did I ever not see? Why?

"You know all those time you pretended," I spat, "all those time you asked why popular me became friends with loser you!" She hurt me too bad; I just had this urge I never had before to hurt something, someone, anyone; SAM, "well you know, I thought you were real. Not FAKE! REAL! Well guess what? All those people; sure they were friends, but they were normal, they'd abandon me as soon as it hurt them or their popularity. They were friends but the type that was like leaves; where I could just find anywhere. Well Sam! I always thought you were that friend that was real, that was special. I thought you were the friend who was a diamond. You know a diamond. How stupid? A diamond is precious, one of a kind. Maybe I was right; you are one of a kind! But no, not a diamond, definitely not. You are a freaking Tyrannosaurus! I thought they were extinct! You're an animal. You hurt me and you know what? Now I know why your mum said she wanted me as her daughter." It flowed; all the emotion; I wanted to hurt her! " She didn't exactly say she didn't want you but still…Now I see. You're a scavenger! A freaking vulture! You'd eat anything!"

I stormed of, out of her room.

"Yeah that's right go! Go and find yourself a stinking boyfriend! Go make Krista's day! You never did have any friends!"

Funny. She still had the power of words. What she said about me really jabbed at my heart. Come on; a tyrannosaurus?

It hurt to hurt her, but I had to. I did it for her sake. I did it because I know the pain that will come from being an exile. Those last words I really meant it. Hopefully, she could still restore her life. Just except, a life without me! Well hopefully it'll better. I know Will and Jack will do anything for her so I pray she chooses wisely. I know who started the rumour but it was better for her to not know.

I did this for her…because…I love her. I know my love will never die but she deserves someone else. I really do feel for her what rumours say. I guess rumours have part truths in them. Though the half that isn't true hurts her, and what hurts her, hurts me twice. I guess that's what Tennyson meant when he said "A lie which is half a truth is the blackest of lies." You can protect yourself if you know what is true, but that which is half true always cause nothing but hurt and trouble. I guess I see now. Rumours are actually a test. An experiment. It tests the strength of love and friendship. It tests the truth and the strength of people. Am I weak to back down? Because it felt like, the most difficult thing. Does difficult mean strong? I mean I'm strong because of my difficulties in life. Well then, strength would mean to make the right decision; but why did it feel like I made a terrible mistake?

16. Anonymous

So I see my plans are working. Don't they always? All's fair in a game of love and war. Losers think game are fun even if they lose because that's what they are; losers. I think games are fun, but the difference is, I'm a winner.

17. Jennifer

"Hey, I heard what happen. Are you okay?" sweet Will Granger asked. I just burst into tears. He grabbed my head gently, as he bent down slightly, and pushed till my face met his shoulders, and I cried my heart out, ruining his shirt, while he cooed and comforted me softly. Everyone stared but I don't care anymore! What was so great about seeing a broken girl! Does it matter? Everyone's a leaf; I'll never find a precious diamond!

The bell rang and everyone hurried to class. Why delay it? I just got up, composed myself and without a word to Will, I left. I walked straight to class, AP Physics, while Will with the same classes as I, followed behind silently. It was rude to leave Will without a word, but still, what was the point? Krista was right; high school's just a mean game. High school is like prison and the popular people are the wardens. They keep in shape the pyramid and if you won't be let out for good behaviour, why bother at all?

I entered class. I saw Krista's face. She was smiling! She was smiling, like as if nothing happened, like as if this past week was non-existent. Well if high school's a game, why lose when you can win. I winked at Krista, before I slipped into the seat next to Jack Adams. Krista winked back and smiled. Oh so now we're BFF's are we?

Adam was all too pleased with my choosing to seat next to him. He started flirting and I played along. I agreed when I had to, I laughed the way I see Krista laugh fakely at lame jokes, I twirled my hair, and pretended to stare at his eyes admiringly, even though his eyes made me want to puke! Go with the flow. Win the game. At the end of class he asked me to go on a date with him and playing along I agreed. What was the point of rejecting anymore? It was all just a game!

At lunch I sat next to Adam and co., meaning the popular table which before I rejected. I was just a shell. I played along. I said yes. It was all just a game!

After school, I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to think, so I kept myself busy. I did the unneeded extra credit; I stretched my community service hours. But today, I was tired. I stayed in school. I roamed around. I walked to the bleachers and saw someone there. I headed their direction. As I came closer, I saw the sandy haired, tall, basketball star, who seem so impossibly elegantly seated, listening to music and doing homework.

"Hey!" I called out. Will seemed nice and I really needed distraction badly right now.

"Oh hey," he said as he looked up and blushed. How modest? A jock who blushes. How unexpected.

We just sat in silence. It was nice. We just sat, saying nothing. Peace. Finally, I don't know what overcame me, I just blurted everything. All Will did was put an arm around me and listen. It felt great. It opened my eyes. It made me realize again how blur I am and how Sam was protecting me. To think of it again, I knew, something in my bones just knew Sam was protecting me. I'll see her later again. Why was it that the only two people who made me see clearly were Sam and Will?

18. Anonymous

I got her, didn't I? So fast in the game and she's mine!

19. Jennifer

Jack knocked on the door. It was the night of our date. But something was off. He seemed, different. This feels so much like Déjà vu. You know like the first day of the rumour where I keep feeling something was off and couldn't put my finger on it. I told him I wanted to first stop at Sam's house. His reply surprised me.

"NO! I finally get you! You're mine finally." What the hell was Jack saying? Whatever it was, he frightened, me, he really scared me. I laughed nervously.

"What … Jack are you drunk?"

"She told you didn't she? She told you I started the rumour? Did she? HUH! My plan was working perfectly fine. I mean I separated the two of you. She was the link I had to eliminate to get you. All those times I chased you, well, you hardly blinked" He was getting closer, and his breadth smelled of alcohol.

"What are you talking about?" Is he mental? What's he talking about?

Why again do I always feel that I am the only clueless person in the world? Why was it that I was the only blind person in the world? Did the sun hurt my delicate light coloured blue eyes or something?

"Well, well, well…" he continued as if I hadn't spoken, "I screwed every girl I wanted, but you…you were different! Krista told you it was a game; she was right you know; it is a game! But why finally when I found something I wanted, I couldn't get?"

He came closer and all I saw were his very yellow eyes. Eyes so like a lion, hungry for something.

What dangerous game had I played? What had I involved myself in?

"I started the stupid rumour because of you!"

Wait! He started the rumour? The guy I was supposed to go out with started the rumour that killed my friendship

Damn it! He was the predator! My power of words didn't help now! I wasn't dealing with anything ordinary. I was fooled. I greatly depended on my self-confidence, but after finding out everything was a lie…

Everything Jack was saying now, about us being perfect together; he was mental! All I could think now is- Ice.

Damn that Jack! My world crumbled. The sweat that came from fear turned to ice. The tears that leaked out me were ice. My heart had frozen into ice.

He was really a predator wasn't he?

He was the predator; who gnawed the strong rope that linked an eternal infinite friendship. Just like the unforgivingly freezing merciless cold: it solidifies my sweat, my tears and my heart. The cruel raptor with beady sinister eyes to frighten every living and non-living things alike, sharp claws that gripped hearts to tear them away, and an invisible swishing tail that coils and loops around its prey, slowly strangling it till the last breadth. It had a manipulative mind and worst of all a deceiving appearance, never alerting its prey of its ill will.

Ice; cold and frozen. I realized something else. All the hurt that I felt before had merely been at melting point; not quite freezing, yet not quite warmed and melted. Now, this was truly ice. Hurt! Ice that froze every particle in me. Now, if Sam were to ask why I was friends with her; now I truly know how to explain it. She really was diamond; precious and special. But she was something else to. She was the fuel to my fire. I realize the fire that Sam lighted in me was not the fire that burnt you, not the fire that hurt, not the fire that seeks to harm. Sam was fuel. She was the fuel to my fire; my fire of courage, of determination, of passion. Like all fires, without fuel they die. Without Sam, the fire dies. I do not love Sam in the romantic way but the way of sisters.

Then to my, luck a car entered my drive way. This seemed to scare Jack. I smiled.

All I heard Jack say before he left was, "just because you're dad's back, you haven't escaped, you're mine."

He was wrong about that! Fire that is extinguished seems to be no harm, but wait till her fuel comes, wait till her oxygen comes; then there is no way; the fire will just explode, and you'd never wish to be close to the explosion unless if you were her fuel and oxygen.

Jack was wrong about many things in that statement. The car that just pulled in wasn't my dad's. It was Will. The car didn't only seem to contain Will, who I just realised is my oxygen, but also my fuel, Sam.

All three of us ran towards each other, like magnets, seemingly unable to stop the laws of attraction no matter what. I invited them in to sit and spilled.

It's weird; tables seem to turn. The poor girl who cried in kindergarten now became the comforter and the comforter seems to be the one who now faced the troubles. There was an extra addition though; Will.

"Oh and Sam, we're friends because you're my fuel." At this she seemed puzzled, and so I explained to her what I meant. She confessed her love; so the rumours were part true. My only reply to this was that I loved her too but that it was a sisterly love.

She hugged me and cried before she replied by saying, " I had not felt love; so when I did, it was of course you I loved, but because I had not experienced love I thought it as the way rumours had it. I wrecked myself, blaming myself of all that happened. I thought that the rumours were caused by my obvious admiration towards you and my obvious affections. But to put it the way you did; I now know it feels more sisterly than anything. You know I thought it was better without me, so I really felt guilty when Will came and told me that you really needed me. Oh my god, and then I still was reluctant to go to you but when he hurried me; telling me we had to catch you fast or you'd already be on your way to your date with Jack made me decide. Oh, I'm so sorry for not coming sooner…"

"Shhh…shhhh…it's ok"

"No it's not! You see I knew it was Jack who started the rumour. I was doing my own little detective work and I knew…I knew…If we…oh my…if we came too late…I'd forever blame myself." She sobbed on endlessly.

I wasn't having any of this. "That's it! Shut up! I though we would've learned by now that guilt-tripping and twisting the reality to blame ourselves didn't work out! Shut up! It isn't anyone's fault!"

Sam looked at me. "Huh, I guess now you really have it all," again I repeat; what? "Look who's finally become perceptive?"

We shared our secret smiles.

I then looked at Will, who hadn't looked away. Sam then left to the kitchen.

"Thank you."

"It's fine."

"Well. You know you're my oxygen." At this he smiled. He knew what I meant.

"Since fire can't live without oxygen, I guess you owe me a date for keeping you alive."

"Well, is this a game?" I said lightly, even though, my voice implied something heavier, "coz the last time I played a game; it was dangerous."

"It's not a game." He replied mimicked my light tone perfectly; though I knew he was dead serious.

20. Jennifer

Dear Sam,

**10 memories I'll always hold dear,**

Year 1 (age 5-6):- The day of yours confession a.k.a. the day of the start of our friendship

Year 2 (age 6-7):- We exchange confessions and I realize my best friend though she vehemently denies it is my "mental stability and strength".

Year 3 (age 7-8):- Puppy Deefor that we both are proud owners to.

Year 4 (age 8-9):- My bestfriend got an A, an A, a huge leap from D to A, for ARTIHMETICS, I couldn't describe your glee and my over the brim pride of helping my best friend, it was priceless.

Year 5 (age 9-10):- Times for tables to turn. This time I was getting the consistent C- in Art, and guess who tutored me?

Year 6 (age 10-11):- We went to this funfair and my best friend had won a game and received a huge teddy bear as a price. Guess who got that teddy bear?

Year 7 (age 11-12):- Someone had accidentally slipped and poured all the contents of their meal on your shirt. Luckily I had a spare.

Year 8 (age 12-13):- My P.E shorts that were mandatory to wear for P.E. had torn, and it was a shame because I had really enjoyed P.E. My best friend lent me hers and faced the Coach's wrath.

Year 9 (age 13-14 You, my best friend dyed all her clothes black, symbolically representing her mourning of today's generation, who cared for nothing but the next episode of Gossip Girl. I admired her for this.

Year 10 (age 14-15) :- We won. Me, you and Will.

**HAPPY DECADE OF RIENDSHIP**

Lots of love,

JENNIFER GOLD

21. Sam

Dear Jennifer,

**10 reasons we're friends (NOT IN ORDER:- I gave up trying to give the list an order; too difficult)**

You can't really forget the girl who knows why you dress in black all the time!

You can't really forget the girl who knows to wield magic; the power of words. I mean; are you sure you want to mess with the girl who could burn you with words?

You can't really forget the girl who cared to listen to you in kindergarten.

You can't really forget the girl who you could run to when your dad wants to sexually assault you.

You can't really forget the girl whose boyfriend (Will Granger) clearly says that he will kill you if you ever hurt his girl. (Not directly to you; but if you did hurt this girl; you're in for a lot of pain!).

You can't really forget the girl who you thought you loved in the weird way.

You can't really forget the girl who has a mentally challenged stalker, though luckily that stalker didn't pass some sanity test and got shipped somewhere else. Well this girl must have a wonderful best friend. I mean rumour has it that this certain awesome, great, amazing, wonderful best friend was the genius behind the master planner in making the whole school take a sanity test. Such anawesome best friend! But of course rumours have some truth in them; why is it that this rumour seems to be so true?

You can't really forget the girl who took ten years to figure out an explanation to why you were her friend.

Can you really forget a girl who said you were a diamond then a tyrannosaurus, then fuel to her fire? How poetic?

You can't really forget the ONLY girl willing to be your friend.

**HAPPY DECADE OF RIENDSHIP**

GIRL WHO CAN' T FORGET YOU; and hopefully you can't forget,

SAMANTHA GIELD


End file.
